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90 Amusing Monday Quotes for People Who Can’t Even

90 Funny Monday Quotes to Make You Laugh

Mondays are infamous for bringing chaos, groans, and endless coffee refills. If you’re one of those people who “can’t even” when Monday rolls around, these short and funny quotes are here to help you laugh off the struggle.

1–10: Classic Monday Mood

  1. “Mondays are just mini Januarys.” – Unknown
  2. “Dear Monday, go step on a Lego.” – Unknown
  3. “I’m not ready for Monday. Can I have a refund?” – Unknown
  4. “Monday: the moment you realize the weekend flew by.” – Unknown
  5. “Whoever invented Mondays should be fired.” – Unknown
  6. “Monday is proof that weekends end too soon.” – Unknown
  7. “There should be a skip button for Mondays.” – Unknown
  8. “New week, same tired me.” – Unknown
  9. “If Monday was a person, I’d slap them.” – Unknown
  10. “Monday: serving coffee and complaints since forever.” – Unknown

90 Funny Monday Quotes to Celebrate Survival

11–20: The Relatable Struggles

  1. “I’m 98% coffee, 2% Monday dread.” – Unknown
  2. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Unknown
  3. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the stress, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the joy.” – Unknown
  4. “Monday is an instant nope.” – Unknown
  5. “Survived Monday? Achievement unlocked!” – Unknown
  6. “Monday mornings are when humanity collectively forgets how to function.” – Unknown
  7. “The worst part about Monday is that it always happens.” – Unknown
  8. “On Mondays, even my coffee needs coffee.” – Unknown
  9. “Monday: the day that feels like an entire week.” – Unknown
  10. “I can’t adult today. It’s Monday.” – Unknown

21–30: Monday and Coffee—The Eternal Love Story

  1. “Monday runs on coffee and sheer willpower.” – Unknown
  2. “Coffee is the only reason I survive Mondays.” – Unknown
  3. “It’s Monday. Time to pretend coffee is a personality trait.” – Unknown
  4. “Monday without coffee is like a car without wheels.” – Unknown
  5. “Coffee first. Mondays later.” – Unknown
  6. “I love Mondays. Just kidding—pass the coffee.” – Unknown
  7. “Mondays and I agree on one thing: we both hate mornings.” – Unknown
  8. “If coffee can’t fix it, it’s definitely Monday’s fault.” – Unknown
  9. “Starting the week caffeinated is the only Monday life hack.” – Unknown
  10. “Monday is best served with a triple espresso.” – Unknown
90 Funny Monday Quotes to Power Through

31–40: Laughing Through the Monday Blues

  1. “Monday is a reminder that adulting is unavoidable.” – Unknown
  2. “Monday: the day I realize my goals were overly ambitious.” – Unknown
  3. “The weekend is over. Commence the Monday meltdown.” – Unknown
  4. “Mondays are nature’s way of punishing us for having fun.” – Unknown
  5. “Woke up. Saw Monday. Went back to bed.” – Unknown
  6. “If Monday had a face, it would be the crying emoji.” – Unknown
  7. “Mondays are a weekly reboot of bad decisions.” – Unknown
  8. “Monday’s motto: Just survive.” – Unknown
  9. “Welcome to Monday, where naps are daydreams.” – Unknown
  10. “Monday: the day that makes coffee an emotional support beverage.” – Unknown

41–50: Monday Work Woes

  1. “Monday is when your inbox attacks.” – Unknown
  2. “First rule of Monday: Avoid meetings.” – Unknown
  3. “Monday is proof that adulting is overrated.” – Unknown
  4. “Productivity on Mondays? Nonexistent.” – Unknown
  5. “Monday: when the to-do list looks like a novel.” – Unknown
  6. “I survived Monday. Where’s my trophy?” – Unknown
  7. “Monday should come with a snooze button.” – Unknown
  8. “Mondays and deadlines: a love story nobody asked for.” – Unknown
  9. “Monday is like a boss fight in the game of life.” – Unknown
  10. “Office on Monday feels like a black hole of motivation.” – Unknown

51–60: Sarcastic Survival Tips

  1. “How to survive Monday: Coffee. Repeat.” – Unknown
  2. “Mondays don’t kill people. Lack of coffee does.” – Unknown
  3. “Monday’s biggest fan? Not me.” – Unknown
  4. “The cure for Mondays doesn’t exist.” – Unknown
  5. “I’m in a committed relationship—with the weekend.” – Unknown
  6. “Monday is why coffee mugs exist.” – Unknown
  7. “Pretending it’s still Sunday is my Monday strategy.” – Unknown
  8. “Monday advice: Don’t. Just don’t.” – Unknown
  9. “The best thing about Monday? When it’s over.” – Unknown
  10. “I didn’t sign up for this Monday nonsense.” – Unknown

61–70: The Eternal Monday Grumble

  1. “Monday mornings: powered by complaints.” – Unknown
  2. “Monday is the universe’s bad joke.” – Unknown
  3. “Even my calendar hates Monday.” – Unknown
  4. “Monday: the sequel nobody asked for.” – Unknown
  5. “Start the week strong. Just kidding, it’s Monday.” – Unknown
  6. “Monday and optimism are mortal enemies.” – Unknown
  7. “Every Monday feels like a prank.” – Unknown
  8. “I could use another weekend to recover from Monday.” – Unknown
  9. “Mondays are for surviving, not thriving.” – Unknown
  10. “Is it Friday yet? Asking for a Monday friend.” – Unknown

71–80: When Humor Saves the Day

  1. “Monday is the reason naps exist.” – Unknown
  2. “Even my coffee is grumpy on Mondays.” – Unknown
  3. “Monday: when fun is a distant memory.” – Unknown
  4. “Surviving Monday is my cardio.” – Unknown
  5. “The best way to enjoy Monday? Don’t.” – Unknown
  6. “Monday: life’s way of saying, ‘Try again tomorrow.’” – Unknown
  7. “Monday blues? More like Monday black hole.” – Unknown
  8. “Monday is just another name for misery.” – Unknown
  9. “Mondays make me appreciate Saturdays more.” – Unknown
  10. “Who needs horror movies? Mondays are scarier.” – Unknown

81–90: Final Laughs to Beat the Monday Blues

  1. “Monday is the hangover of the week.” – Unknown
  2. “Mondays are a plot twist I didn’t see coming.” – Unknown
  3. “The secret to surviving Monday? A good sense of humor.” – Unknown
  4. “Even my alarm clock dreads Mondays.” – Unknown
  5. “Every Monday deserves a dramatic sigh.” – Unknown
  6. “If Monday had a theme song, it’d be a sad violin.” – Unknown
  7. “Monday is the opposite of fun.” – Unknown
  8. “The only good thing about Monday is that it ends.” – Unknown
  9. “I wish Monday had a fast-forward button.” – Unknown
  10. “Mondays are proof that time travel should exist.” – Unknown

Wrapping Up

Mondays may be inevitable, but they don’t have to be unbearable. With a little humor and a lot of coffee, you can face the start of the week with a grin—or at least a smirk. Save these quotes for when you need to laugh off the Monday blues.

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